I’m sure you’ve heard the infamous phrase or internet meme, “your vibe attracts your tribe.” Your tribe can also attract your vibe. When we get sober, most of us want and need to have sober friends. It’s unrealistic to think we’ll only be surrounded by sober people, but you’ll quickly discover that having some sort of sober tribe is essential to making your recovery easier. Having a sober tribe offers a unique kind of support from people who understand the power of addiction and the hope of recovery. These people can be understanding of your past and encouraging of your sober future. Having a sober companion to call when you’re feeling down, to hang out with when you need to, and to exchange advice with is invaluable in sobriety.
How do you find these special people? Let’s take a look at 5 ways that you can find your sober tribe.
1. Join a face-to-face recovery group
This might seem obvious, but some people don’t get sober in traditional recovery groups like AA, NA, or SMART recovery. I want to recommend these groups as a way to find a sober tribe, even if you aren’t getting sober there. It worked for me when I started attending 12-step meetings a year and a half into my sobriety. What better way to find a sober tribe than talking to people face-to-face at recovery groups? But you aren’t limited to 12-step meetings. There are Refuge Recovery meetings, Celebrate Recovery meetings, and other sober meet-ups all over the world. Do your research and go find your people!
2. Explore the internet and social media
The Internet has been the biggest catalyst in my recovery and especially for helping me find my sober tribe. It has allowed me to connect with other sober people through sober websites, sober blogs, my own sober blog, Facebook pages and groups, Instagram, and Twitter. I even felt connected to people in sobriety through reading their stories, long before sharing my own or meeting any one of them in person. The Internet gave me some of my closest friends today and it gave me the opportunity to enjoy She Recovers NYC – an event that hosted over 500 women in recovery this past May. There are tons of recovery programs online with private communities and safe spaces where you can find your sober tribe.
3. Try a new hobby that doesn’t include drinking
You should be doing this, even without the intention of finding your sober tribe. One of the best parts about sobriety is free time. All the time you spent drinking and partying can now be used towards trying new hobbies. You could try a new type of exercise like CrossFit, yoga, or rock climbing, artistic hobbies like writing, painting, or attending theater shows, and traveling. The possibilities are endless. I encourage you to try hobbies that don’t include drinking and I’m positive you’ll find members of your sober tribe who like to do the activities that you do.
4. Be open about your sobriety
Yes, being open about your sobriety will absolutely help you find your tribe. Speak your truth and those who stay and support you are your people. Share your new way of life with your friends and family. Start a sober Instagram account. Start your own blog about sobriety. Release your stories into the world and find those who feel the same, who say “me too,” and who build you up. My blog about sobriety has led me to some of my best sober tribe members.
5. Try websites like MeetUp.com
There are websites and organizations out there specifically designed to help you meet people. They want you to find like-minded people who you can share your life with, talk about recovery with, and engage in fun activities with. Meetup.com is just one of those sites and has different activities and interests that you can follow and become a part of. You could even start your own sober meet up group. If social media isn’t your strong suit or you’d rather make real life connections outside of recovery groups, I recommend websites like Meet Up.
Finding your sober tribe doesn’t have to be hard. It should be enjoyable and fulfilling. It should lead you to long-lasting sober friendships that help you become the best version of yourself. A sober tribe is essential to anyone wanting an abundant and supportive recovery.
About the Author
Kelly Fitzgerald is a sober writer based in Southwest Florida who is best known for her personal blog The Adventures of a Sober Señorita. Her work has been published across the web including sites like The Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Ravishly, SheKnows, Elite Daily, The Fix, Brit + Co, Addiction Unscripted and AfterPartyMagazine. She is currently writing a memoir.